I sort of hate a lot of game journalists these days. No, hates too strong a word, Im simply confused that they can get away with pumping out so much shite without losing their job or getting roundly lambasted by the general public. I suppose, as usual, its as much a condemnation of the general public as the direct target of my ire. Anyhow, following the annual summer lull were moving into the tidal wave of autumn game releases which drops away to a mere trickle in the first weeks of December. And I know that you my gentle reader may be too busy with this much ballyhooed “real life” to weed out the wheat from the chaffe. So here you go, the titles coming out in the next few months (or that have been recently released) that I would suggest buying/playing/pirating/taking a look at/worshipping like a god. Continue reading…
Month: September 2010
Initial impressions of the Final Fantasy XIV Open Beta – Part 2 – Combat and Cut Scenes
Well that was fucking sweet. I was wandering around looking for the Pugilist’s Guild when a message pops up on screen asking me if I was sure if I wanted to leave the area as I might not be able to return. As the area in question was a street I wasnt too pushed and hit yes. Cue some lovely looking in game cut-scene, which leads to your first combat, which ends with some more sweet cut-scene action. This is is how you should do in game “events”. Continue reading…
FFXIV Character Creation System Example 3 – Charden Earthshaker
And to fill my last character slot a Roegadyn Marauder. I like the look of these guys but wish there was a way to make them more buff as they can look a little, well, fat. Continue reading…
FFXIV Character Creation System Example 2 – Gilles de Rais
Decided to make an Elezen Thaumaturge. He so sexay. Continue reading…
Initial Impressions of the FFXIV Open Beta
Earlier in the week, just before the FFXIV (Final Fantasy XIV) Open Beta began I struggled with the question of whether to sign up or not. On the one hand I would get to see the game early and get an idea of what it was like, on the other hand I had already pre-ordered the game so was I spoiling it for myself? Also open beta’s are mainly for bug testing to the game would be buggy as fuck and may put me off, which would be unfair to the finished product. So I decided against it. Until I saw some screenshots. But by then the first phase of the open beta had closed. Luckily the second phase began yesterday and I managed to sign up. That was about sixteen or seventeen hours ago. Sixteen or seventeen hours, most of which have been spent trying to download or patch the client. Continue reading…
(Further) Misadventures in Minecraft
Day 8
I awake to my second week in hell. My joy at actually living through a night was off-set by my oracular vision of where I was trapped. Still there was nothing to do but continue on with my plan to explore the subterranean depths. I hurriedly finished my crude home and set off once more into the mines.
I spend the day alternately mining and logging. By evening even my superdimensional pants are streatched to breaking point; turgid with wood and stone. Continue reading…
Misadventure’s in Minecraft
Day 4
I hauled myself to my feet once more. Three times, three times since I’d been here had I fallen into that suffocating darkness only to find myself cast back to the same shore time and time again. Had I died? Was this some hellish afterlife I must endure as punishment for my misdeeds? (Is injecting your semen into your housemate’s canned goods even really a sin? Still I had no choice but to continue with my quest to build some kind of shelter. I must return to that cliff-face where I had found coal and longbow wielding skeletons in equal measure. Girding my rectangular loins I set out once more. Only to be set upon almost immediately by a hideous quadruped cactus man. My attempts at communication were met with a high pitched hissing as he lunged towards me. Continue reading…
Mick’s Adventure’s in Minecraft
Day 1
I am writing this jounral in a vain attempt to keep myself sane. I awoke from a restless sleep to find myself lying beneath the blazing sun on a sandy beach, staring at some islands in the distance.
My head throbbed with a strange pain and my body felt swollen and mishappened. Raising my hands to my head I cried out in terror as they came into view. Where once there had been hands (that had pleasured me endlessley) there were now only crude flesh cubes. I surveyed the rest of my body and my horror grew. I looked like the bastard spawn of a bobble head and lego soldier.
I also realised that my surroundings shared my strange angular malady. Where was I, what had happened to me and how the fuck was I going to get home? Continue reading…